Recipe Thief

thief 

/THēf/

Noun

A person who steals another person's property, esp. by stealth and without using force or violence.

Synonyms

robber - burglar - prig

I am totally a recipe thief and I don't even care. I take that back. I care a little, but only because I'm envious that I didn't come up with the recipe myself. So, call me a robber, a burglar, or even a prig...but at least I accomplish my goal by stealth and without using force or violence. Oh, and it's all paleo.

1. I am on my way to being a kipping pull up machine. OK, so I can't do them strung together, but I can do several.

2. My little munchkins have tomorrow off, which means I get to look at data all day long.

3. I bought my plane tickets to fly home! I can't believe how long it has been.

4. I want to go to the rodeo.

5. I looked up recipes for paleo shamrock shakes last night. Take that, Mickey D's.

6. The weather is cloudy today and that is stupid.

7. I want to learn Spanish.

8. I read on CNN that there may be budget cuts coming that will increase the price of chicken and beef. WF is that about?

9. Crap, I have nothing else worthy of typing, but I hate ending on an even number.

Paleo Pancakes with Delicious Strawberry Syrup-Stuff

1. I made these last Sunday and they were a.m.a.z.i.n.g.. We didn't have vanilla beans, so I just added a little more extract.

2. I used frozen strawberries and organic agave for the syrup-stuff.

This is how strong I felt when I accomplished my pull ups. 

Random Nothings

Today is Monday which means the weekend is definitely over. Each weekend I allow a small cheat, usually in the form of an  several adult beverage(s). This weekend, I faced a different challenge and lost. Damn you Will, damn you. Thankfully, the box of unmentionable items that he gave us is gone. Unfortunately, it's gone because we ate them. We ate them happily in our fort in front of our fire place. Yes, James and I make forts in the living room.

Tonight's recipe is completely taken from paleomg and it is totally worth sharing. We've made it several times, and each time I enjoy it a little more. I'll add a pic later as well as any side notes I can think of.

Random Thoughts
1. I accidentally climbed up the majority of the rope at the gym on Friday. Boom. Where was my elementary gym teacher when I needed him?
2. Spring break is a couple weeks away. Thank goodness.
3. The weather is gorgeous and I wish I was outside instead of at school.
4. I haven't been 'home' since April 2012. That's cray.
5. We saved $10 on gas last night because of fuel perks. I love fuel perks.
6. I'm obsessed with Florence.
7. I put on my tap shoes on Friday. I'll be teaching a class soon and need to break in the leather. My feet will definitely bleed for days. I cannnnot wait.
8. I want to quit teaching and open a dance studio.
9. I actually mean that, but doubt I'll ever do it.
11. Look at the picture below. I like it. (I skipped #10 on purpose because I didn't want to end with an even, composite number).

Fat is Slimy

Slimy Adjective Covered by or having the consistency of slime. Disgustingly immoral, dishonest, or obsequious.

Synonyms muddy - oozy - mucous - sludgy

Yes, fat is slimy and pretty oozy. However, I disagree that it is disgustingly immoral, dishonest, or obsequious. Frankly, I don't know what obsequious means but I'm sure fat is not it. The other day I spent a few hours searching for kid-friendly paleo websites for my sister-in-law. While I was on the hunt, I came across directions for rendering fat. Naturally, I wanted to try it. Scratch that, I had to try it. James being the stand-up guy that he is inquired about fat from the butcher at Whole Foods. It turns out you can get grass fed fat for free! You can imagine how excited I was to have two pounds of straight fat in my refrigerator after a long day of work. 

The directions are pretty easy, the only thing you want to avoid is burning the fat. So, on Saturday morning I diced the fat and removed any remaining pieces of protein (this will make your rendered fat spoil with time) and placed it in the crock pot on warm. Here are the following steps that I completed, even though they were not recommended by the website I found:

1. Set alarm  on your iPhone for 35ish minutes

2. Nap on the couch while "The Last of the Mohicans" is playing in the background.

3. Wake up angry because your alarm woke you up on a Saturday and stir the fat.

3. Reset your alarm and continue to nap. 

4. Turn down the movie because it's getting too loud.

5. Continue to nap until the alarm goes off.

6. Wake up dazed and confused about why you're waking up to stir fat.

7. Add a glass of water to the fat because you don't want to reset your alarm...again. (The water will stop it from burning)

8. Let simmer for several hours.

9. Wake up from your awesome nap, shower, and attend your sister-in-law's b-day party.

10. Drink too much wine. Eat too much cheese.

11. Sleep the entire next day away because of step # 10.

12. Turn off the crock pot.

13. Pour delicious, magnificent, pure fat into a jar and place in the fridge. 

Note: you can leave it in the fridge as is, or you can poke a hole through the clean fat and pour out the water from the bottom. If I wouldn't have added the glass of water, it would have turned out to be pure fat. Wet rendering requires you to drain out the water...if you wish. 

This is my awesome tank top that I won from Paleomg and Civilized Caveman. I like it so much that I plan out the days I'm going to wear it to the gym. Seriously.

Spaghetti Squash and Meatballs

Since paleo the one thing my mind misses is pasta. My body, specifically my digestive tract, definitely doesn't miss it, but I sometimes find myself thinking I want pasta. The paleo alternative is spaghetti squash and I've been trying to find the perfect  recipe for a couple years, and I think I've finally got it down. Although this is nothing like pasta, it is still delicious and a much healthier option.

 

Random Thoughts

1. I always try to blog from my computer and phone simultaneously. This time, it erased everything I had and didn't post the recipe and original random thoughts. Stupid.

2. James got grass fed animal fat from Whole Foods for free-ninety-nine. Today, I will attempt to render it.

2. I need to work on squat cleans.

3. Thursday I front squatted 90 pounds. I have no idea if that is good or not, but seeing as its approximately 78% of my body weight, I'll take it.

4. James got me flowers, wine, cooked dinner, and made delicious frozen chocolate covered bananas stuffed with almond butter and bacon for Valentine's Day. #besthusbandever.

5. I got to spend 10 1/2 straight hours with students yesterday. My only two breaks were to use the restroom. I hope that never happens again.

6. Things are progressing for us to move to Austin.

7. I DID A KIPPING PULL UP!

 

Spaghetti Squash

1. Cut in half (so much easier with the cleaver Will and Brit got us from Hong Kong!)

2. Remove seeds

3. Place on a shallow dish to bake

4. Fill with an inch or so of water

5. Bake for approximately 40 minutes at 400 degrees (take our when it is kinda squishy, like an over ripe avocado).

 

Meatballs

1-2 pounds of lean beef

1 egg

1/2ish cup coconut flour

1/4ish cup almond flour

garlic powder

onion powder

parsley

 

1. Place all ingredients in a large bowl (whisk egg in separate bowl first)

2. Form into meatballs

3. Lately I have been making them on the stove top. Place saved bacon grease (or other fat of choice) in pan and cook meatballs until finished.

 

Spaghetti Sauce

6-8 roma tomatoes

1 jalapeno

1/4 cup diced carrots

1/2 cup diced onion

4 garlic cloves

squeeze honey

squeeze of half a lemon

basil

oregano

parsley flakes

red pepper flakes

coconut flour (to thicken)

 

1. Place all of the items(except the parsley, red pepper, and coconut flour) in the Vitamix or blender and blend for 10-15 seconds.

2. Heat in sauce pan on low for 45 minutes

3. Sprinkle in parsley, red pepper, and coconut flour (approx 2 tbs)

 

 

 

 

Yup, this awesome face made it on the Crossfit Strom website. I look extremely awkward, andI need to lift my elbows, but whatevs, it was hard. 

Buffalo Chicken Nuggets and Purple Potatoes

I haven't blogged as much recently, most likely do to my overwhelming exhaustion. I'm still working to find the perfect work/life balance while incorporating Crossfit and cooking paleo. Some days is easier than others, but right now I'm just tired. Here are my random thoughts for the day, enjoy!

RT

1. I love Trader Joe's coffee. It's so much cheaper per cup, yet its just as yummy as Dunkin'. 

2. Yesterday was Fat Tuesday and I did nothing 'fat'. 

3. Fat Tuesday 2014 I'm going to make gumbo so that I am more festive.

4. I want to be Anthony Bourdain, however, I don't think I am adventurous enough in my eating habits to be him.

5. When is "Up All Night" coming back on?

6. I slept through "Walking Dead" on Sunday night. Oops.

7. I need to buy long socks so I can attempt the rope climb.

8. My gym teacher used to call me French Fry and I hated it.

9. I want a house with a back yard and a garage. 

10. Why? So that I can plant my own purple potatoes and have my own garage gym.

11. The waiting list to get into KIPP Houston is 8,000. I find it exciting, but it makes me very sad. I wish the public schools could rise up and improve education for every student...

12. I can't wait for Brit's b-day party on Saturday!!!!!!!!!!!!!

13. "Thrift Shop" is my new fav song. If I were still an Eriesistable, we would def be dancing to it for half-time.

14. I want to participate in a Color Run. James thinks it's unhealthy to inhale neon powder while running. I disagree.

15. I miss Los Tres. I hear they have Spanish karaoke now. I bet that's amazing. 

16. I want a box of Conversation Hearts, stat. I know they're not paleo, and I know they taste like chalk. I guess I like chalk. 

17. I just reread Random thoughts 1-16. Yes, my mind really does go in a million different directions. 

18. Kyle just bought a new house. Maybe I can fly into Ohio in April and check it out. I bet he has a backyard, but I doubt he'll plant purple potatoes. He would say they're stupid. I bet he plants baby corn instead.

19. If I could be anywhere in the world right now, I would be at Aoyama with my bff's drinking a Flirtini.

20. I want hair like Cassadee Pope. Well, maybe not that dark, but I like her weird blond highlights. 

21. I can't end on an even, composite number, so here's one more: I love Texas because there is no snow and it doesn't get bitter cold. My body enjoys seeing the sun 12 months out of the year, instead of 3. 

Purple Potatoes

Cut to desired size (we quartered ours)

Coat with coconut oil

Sprinkle with salt and rosemary

Bake for 25ish minutes on 400 degrees (I made that number up, but it should work)

Buffalo Chicken Nuggets

*Click on the link for directions. Note: I did not add the flax seed because I didn't have any and wasn't sure if it was paleo. I also went a little heavy on the hot sauce and I'm sure I added a little more seasoning than directed. 

These were so yummy, and so easy. James thought they were a little dry, so I will coat them a little less next time. 

Shrimp Cakes and Roasted Purple Potatoes

It happened!! After an entire year of searching every grocery store in sight, we found purple potatoes. At first, we thought it was a mirage, but nope! They were real and freaking delish.

This week has been a tidal wave of unfortunate events, and I'm grateful to say that everyone and everything is going to be alright. Life is strange and I will never fully understand how things work. The older I get the more I've learned to trust that things will be okay. Everything will work out, even if it doesn't seem like it at the time. I'm overjoyed to have my family and friends, and even if they aren't close in terms of distance, they are very close to my heart.

Ok, enough of that. Let's talk shrimp cakes.


Shrimp Cakes
1 lb shrimp, deveined, cooked, and chopped
1 red pepper
1 yellow pepper
1 jalapeno
4 bacon slices, cooked and chopped
4 tbsp coconut flour
3 eggs
2 garlic cloves, minced

*Dice all ingredients and combine in a bowl
*Press into cakes
*Cook in light coconut oil (Note: make sure to cook until brown. If you try to flip them too early, they will fall apart)

Purple Potatoes
1 lb unicorn purple potatoes (they're unicorns because we didn't think they would ever be found)
2 garlic cloves, minced

*Quarter potatoes
*Coat in coconut oil and minced garlic
*Bake at 400 degrees for 25 minutes
*Get ready for your taste buds to explode. Who would have thought the 'best' type of potato is the best for you?!?! Blows my mind